the beginning

We live life; things happen to us, for us, with us, against us and all we do is go through these things. We experience- what some call- LOVE,a beautiful feeling and others call it a chemical imbalance. Whatever people Call it is their belief; but my belief is that love, regardless of its origin, has made me into who I am today. The love from my parents, my family, my friends, and strangers has put in some effort undoubtedly. However, there is one love that has build me from ground up, that has taught me how to contain my self, that has shown me how beautiful I am and how beautiful I make the world that surrounds me, that has believed in me when others had stranded me and left me to bleed in the loneliness that I never deserved. This love that I praise so much is what caused me what I valued the most..... It cost me MYSELF.

Let me take you to the beginning of it all.

He was my first love and as they say that for a woman; her first love is her last love. if you are thinking that why is one breakup such a big deal for me then let me tell you that I am a person who didn't know how to love. Its not that I didn't want to love its just that I couldn't. Love is a beautiful sentiment but I was naive to that reality. And then came he- Harry. He loved me, showed me how great life can be and gave me hope of a better life. Like a fool, I believed him. I believed in every word that he said so blindly that I ignored the obvious truth. I became one of those clichéd slaves to love only to find out that that wasn't love. I had been played with, I had been used. False promises, fake care, and lies...  ALL LIES. And he left without a goodbye... He left. He broke me and I fell into the deepest pit there could ever be. But how could I let go of the one person who showed some attention and care to me.

At first I did not accept the reality and I lived in denial. He kept saying he is done with me and I kept begging and pleading. He kept telling me that he has moved on and I kept denying it. He degraded and insulted me while I tried to put the pieces of my broken heart back together so that I can beg some more. I wasn't ready to give up because I loved the illusion of love. Love is a great power, it can control you like nothing else. We are all puppets of love